


Second Chance

by Measured_Words



Category: Adventure World (game)
Genre: Anxiety, Catharsis, Communication, Confessions, Crying, Kissing, Love, Multi, Overly-Complicated Underwear, Past Abuse, Past Sexual Abuse, Polyamory, Polyamory Negotiations, Romance, Sexuality, Undressing, Wedding Night, Weddings, past emotional/psychological abuse, wedding vows
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-21
Updated: 2013-05-21
Packaged: 2017-12-12 11:54:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,191
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/811323
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Measured_Words/pseuds/Measured_Words
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ardith, Vedran, and Aleyn spend their first night together as a married triad.  It's not a typical marriage, and it is far from a typical wedding night.</p><p> </p><p>  <em>"We'll be out of here soon," she promised quietly.  </em></p><p> </p><p>  <em>Ardith couldn't know the panic the idea elicited in him – Vedran hadn't told her.</em></p>
            </blockquote>





	Second Chance

Glasses had been passing in and out of Vedran's orbit all evening. Someone would hand him something, or top him up with one mysterious liquid or another (mostly wine, which was not so mysterious, but made it all the more surprising when it turned out to be something different). Occasionally someone else – usually Aleyn or Ardith, but also Beryl and once, to his mild embarrassment, his mother – would take it away. It was difficult under the circumstances to keep track of just how much of the alcohol passing through his hands had actually made it into his system. Definitely either 'way too much' or 'not nearly enough'.

Really, he was mostly fine. Whatever Beryl had given him before the ceremony had helped enormously. That afternoon he'd been sure he would pass out, or throw up, or both, and neither had happened. He hadn't frozen, or forgotten his vows, or broken down or even really cried. He had been close, but was afraid that if he'd started it would have just wound up with him curled up in a ball on the floor. But he hadn't, and now he was married again, to two amazing people. It was thrilling. It was terrifying. Even surrounded by his closest friends sincerely wishing him and his new spouses all the best, he could feel his anxieties mounting. Usually he felt better when there was a crowd to work, but tonight everything felt more personal, like some protective layer was being stripped away by every sharp smile. The more exposed he felt, the more his failure seemed inevitable.

Vedran looked up from a glass of something that might have been cognac and realized that someone must have asked him a question – the small group gathered at the table were all staring at him expectantly. He started to smile and apologize for his wandering attention, but Aleyn cut him off, slipping an arm around his shoulders.

"Well I hope that's a pretty good sign," Aleyn said, grinning and eliciting a matching look from Kallista. Brenn grinned too, and reached over to clap a hand on Ardith's shoulder, carelessly interrupting her conversation with Delona and Thruik.

"Hey there, lucky lady," he called, his speech only very slightly slurred, "I think you're being called on to make an exit!"

"Oh?" Ardith glanced over, exchanging a look with Aleyn. "Well, finally!" She smiled at the cheers from the cluster around the trio. Her friend Amala appeared at her side to offer a congratulatory hug, and also to pass Ardith her clutch.

Vedran let Aleyn pull him up, grateful for how he kept his arm on his shoulder, rubbing it in a futile attempt to combat his rising tension. It was the thought that counted. Ardith seemed to pick up the cue, coming around to his other side. When she smiled just for the two of them, he could see the concern in her eyes.

"We'll be out of here soon," she promised quietly. 

Ardith couldn't know the panic the idea elicited in him – he hadn't told her. There hadn't been time. Everything was happening so fast now, and he felt dizzy. But he still managed to smile for the crowd, and raise a hand. "Thank you everyone," he heard himself saying. "It means so much to us to have you here. Please enjoy yourselves – goodnight!" 

A new wave of cheers swept them out of the room, into a passageway where they found themselves alone for the first time since they'd shared their vows.

"How are you doing?" Aleyn asked, taking one of his hands while Ardith took the other. 

Vedran shook his head, unsure. "Let's just go to the room."

Aleyn helped them navigate through the temple's twisty pathways. By the time they arrived, Vedran was lightheaded and a little dizzy, leaning heavily on his new wife and husband. Ardith steered him over to the edge of the bed so they could all sit together, but sat back a bit to give him space.

"We don't have to do this," she said, voice full of concern and uncertainty, "If you’re not feeling well, we can just..."

He didn't hear the rest of her suggestion, too wrapped up in remembering saying the same thing, or near enough, the first time, to Jacinthe. It had felt wrong, despite her insistence that yes, they did. The memories had been lurking at the edges of his mind all evening, and now they came out in force. Somehow time and reflection made the guilt and sickness and shame feel amplified, despite being told over and over by Aleyn or by Luthro, his counselor at the temple of Sehanine, that it wasn't his fault. But they were wrong. He'd made a choice then, to be led by his desires and expectations, and it had been so very, very, wrong. Of course she'd thought he was terrible, that he had no control, that he was just an animal. It was exactly what he'd shown himself to be... 

Somewhere at the edge of his memories he could hear Aleyn and Ardith talking. The sounds didn't quite penetrate the haze of remembered awkward touching, of the later humiliations that all stemmed from that initial encounter. He tried to listen past all of that, to pierce through the echoes of past conversations, if they could be called that, past the racing of his heart and the pounding in his ears.

"Are you sure?" Ardith asked, and a moment later she pulled him up to rest his head in her lap. Vedran felt Aleyn shuffle over and rest a hand on his back.

"It's okay," Aleyn said, "you're safe."

"We're right here with you, Vedran. Just us – Ardith and Aleyn."

"That's right, it's just us. Can you breathe for us? Just in and out – that's good...."

"We're right here; we just want to know you're okay..."

"That's good, honey, just listen to us, okay, do you think you can say anything?"

Listening to the two of them gave him something else to focus on. Breathing helped. Ardith held him carefully, and her body was another anchor – she knew better than to touch him more than necessary, but she did link her hand with his. Vedran held it tightly; when Aleyn lay his hand – the scarred one, with the missing fingers – on top of his, he felt for a moment like he had truly broken free of the grip of his memories. The release itself was overwhelming, and if he was having trouble breathing now, it was because it all came out in uncontrolled sobs and a wave of nauseating guilt and shame. Things might be different, but he was still ruining them with his weakness.

Aleyn and Ardith continued to murmur words of comfort, reassuring him that it was okay to cry, that they weren't going anywhere, that they cared for him and wanted him to feel safe. The distraction helped keep him from falling back into his darker thoughts even if he couldn't quite accept the reassurances they offered. This was their wedding night – it was supposed to be beautiful and special and filled with joy, not this. He needed to say something, to reach out, but all he could offer was another apology they wouldn't accept or understand. They would just say it wasn’t his fault, or that nothing was ruined, when it was.

"Please," Ardith was saying, her grip on his hand solid and real. "Help me understand, Vedran? Like you said – you can trust us. We just want you to feel safe."

"I…did-didn't…want….t-this," he managed to choke out, knowing right away how it sounded, that it wasn't what he'd meant, that he was being awful. He could feel Ardith tense slightly, pull back. But Aleyn just squeezed his hand.

"This… You mean, to be upset like this?" Aleyn's voice was heavy with concern.

Vedran nodded vigorously – it was easier than words.

"It's okay," Aleyn continued. "I know how hard today has been on you. You've been so strong, and so brave, Vedran. We're very proud of you."

Vedran wanted to believe that Aleyn spoke for the both of them, but he wasn't sure. Ardith was trapped in his mess now, but what did she think? Was she disappointed? Disgusted? But she hadn't let go, and he clung to her all the harder. "Sorry." The traitorous word slipped out. "Want you… Both. Just… I c-can't… My head is a-all… Can't."

"We're both here, we're here for you." Ardith was struggling to sound calm herself. "We're not going to... make you do anything. Do you want to just lie down? With me and Aleyn?"

He nodded again, and they helped him uncurl to stretch out between them, Ardith struggling somewhat with the skirts of her gown while Aleyn helped him loosen his cravat. The bed was spacious, but they stayed close beside him, each keeping hold of one of his hands. "I keep… feeling...things, seeing t-them. But they're not r-real. I can't s-stop it, and I'm... s-sorry."

"Things from... your first wedding?" She continued after he nodded. "I'm sorry, Vedran, if we did anything to put those thoughts in your head. But I promise that, whatever happened before, this time is different. I...we don't want to hurt you, or see you get hurt."

"I love you, Vedran," Aleyn said, reaching to kiss his hand. "No matter what."

"Okay." He managed a deep, even breath, and then another. 

"Do you want to talk about it any more?"

Vedran shook his head. The panic had receded for the most part, but all of his energy reserves, physical and emotional, felt completely empty. "I can't right now. I will, I promise." He turned his head to look at Ardith, both grateful and guilty for her concern. "You deserve better, you both do, from me..."

"Hush now," she cut him off gently, looking across him to Aleyn, then smiling back down at him. "We can worry about it when you've had some rest. We have all night, and we can spend it however we need, and however we like. We'll be right here."

Nodding again, Vedran tried to relax and settle down between his husband and his wife, praying that the exhaustion would wash away his lingering anxieties.

It helped that he was still pretty drunk. Once he was calmed down, the alcohol helped relax him enough that he fell asleep quite quickly. When consciousness returned, it did so slowly. Vedran fought through the haze, remembering he was meant to do something tonight. People – Aleyn and Ardith – were talking quietly, and he lay with his eyes shut to listen as he drifted awake. They were both still holding his hands.

"...you did really well. It's usually good to get him to talk to you, even if he isn't making much sense – it means he's not getting all wrapped in whatever's going on in his head, or not as bad."

"I guessed that much. I'm sorry, Aleyn, I just felt so unprepared. I know he tried to tell me..."

"But he has a hard time talking about it, I know. It all seems a lot more abstract, at that point."

"We talked some. About, well, permissions and things. Asking before touching, checking in... Do you think the kissing bothered him? Not in the ceremony, I mean, but after."

"When everyone was asking us to make out on command, you mean? I don't think he was thrilled, but I don't think he was upset with us."

There was a pause in the conversation, as if they were both thinking. "What did you think about it, then?" Ardith asked.

"Me?" Another pause, and Vedran could feel the bed moving as Alen repositioned himself. "About the kissing in general? I guess I don't mind showing how I feel like that, when I can. I know I won't always have the chance. Or did you mean kissing you?"

"Oh, all of it, I suppose. I do think that things will get better in time, in terms of the secrecy. And with this whole Nachtur business... Well, we'll see. But as for the other – I was a little surprised how enthusiastic you were."

"Well, like I said, I don't mind showing off how I feel, and you feel pretty special to me. I know we still have a lot to figure out in terms of what all that means, and what we want to be to each other but, um, I guess, at least as far as kissing goes, I think about you more as someone I care about than as just being a woman."

"Mmmph." Vedran was awake enough now to follow the conversation, and wanted to at least let them know he could hear. "I like kisses," he mumbled, stretching out his shoulders and squeezing both of their hands.

"Oh?" Aleyn grinned down at him. Now that his eyes were open, Vedran could see they were each propped up on an elbow, talking across him. "Was that a request?"

"Are you feeling any better, then?" Ardith added, looking down at him with fond concern.

He nodded. "Yes. And... mostly. But yes." These would be their first real, private kisses as a married trio, or triad, or whatever they were, and that was suddenly important to him. "Please?"

Aleyn obliged him first, his thin lips soft against Vedran's own, parted slightly to allow for a gentle brush of tongues. Vedran could still taste a hint of alcohol on his breath, but he barely noticed – too overcome by his love and amazement. His heart was racing again, although he'd just woken up.

But when he pulled away, he still felt incomplete. Breaking away from Aleyn's entrancing gaze, he turned to Ardith. She was watching them with an almost bittersweet smile. "Please?" he repeated, and she bent to kiss him in turn.

Kissing Ardith was a very different affair. Her lips were firmer, rougher, and cooler. Vedran ran his tongue over them and she responded by pressing harder against his mouth and licking gently. The feelings, though – those were similar. He was just as awed and overwhelmed. As confusing as his emotions could be, right now things were very clear. Everything was all right, now.

He hoped Ardith felt the same, even if it was fleeting – a forerunner of what they would build together. The look on her face, hopeful and yearning, was encouraging. After a moment, she looked past him to Aleyn, and Vedran turned to find him smiling fondly. He offered Ardith his other hand and, just like in the ceremony, they leaned forward to share a kiss of their own, no less tender for its chasteness. And now everything felt complete. The ritual banished the last of his lingering anxieties and Vedran sighed as the wave of relief broke over him.

"I'm okay," he protested when they both looked at him with concern. He smiled. "I'm married, and you're both so amazing. I'm just so happy, right now."

"I'm glad," Ardith answered. "And you're right – you are both pretty amazing. Maybe we could make ourselves a little more comfortable then, if we're all more relaxed?" She paused a beat, then grinned ruefully. "This dress is really not meant for lying down in, I'm afraid."

"I wondered about that," Aleyn said as he sat up, helping Vedran up so that they could both give her a hand to get up off the bed. She stretched, as much as the silvery-blue gown would allow. "Are you going to need help getting out of it?" He seemed a little worried, probably daunted by all the complicated fastenings holding the garment together.

"I will." Ardith shot a look at Vedran. "It that all right?"

"Very all right." He considered whether he should explain more as he stepped over to help her. Aleyn was busy taking off his own jacket, though he'd lost his cravat at some point earlier in the evening. "I... didn't get a chance, the first time, to be part of that. And I think... it's important to me. Not just because of that, but because... It helps me feel closer?"

He was standing behind her now to start undoing the hooks keeping the bodice of her dress together, and Ardith was craning her head to watch him. 

"I want to feel closer to you to, Vedran. But you don't have to talk about any of this right now, if you don't want to."

"I'm okay, really. For now, at least. I...want to explain, so that maybe you can understand. I know that's important, but I want this to be about us, too, not just, ah, my first marriage. So, we don't have to, not now, if you don't want."

"Here. Let's not forget about you too, okay?" Aleyn took his hand, guiding him back so he was standing in front of Ardith, then sliding his hands along his shoulders to help him out of his coat. Aleyn smiled at Ardith and she came to help him, reaching down to undo the buttons of Vedran's waistcoat after he nodded his permission. "The things you went through... It's better for us to know, so we can help you. I know for me," he said, glancing down shyly as he untied the remains of Vedran's elaborate cravat knotting, "I feel closer to you when you're comfortable enough to talk about it with me. Like you trust me."

"I do want to understand, Vedran," Ardith added, "so that I can try and help. And I want you to feel safe enough to trust me too. I hope you know you can, even if it's hard sometimes."

Vedran nodded, catching her hands in his. "I do. I trust you both. I need to. I'm getting better at knowing when I can trust my feelings and my...impulses, but I'm not there yet." He turned her to Aleyn, and the two of them set about getting him out of his waistcoat as well.

Ardith smiled hesitantly at him. "That's something I don't understand, if you can tell me... maybe not tonight though."

Vedran paused what he was doing, leaving Ardith to unfasten the last of the buttons, and Aleyn to shrug out of it on his own. "I... That one's hard. But part of it... is about my first night. With Jacinthe."

"Do you want to finish getting undressed first?" Aleyn reached over to take Vedran's hand again after tossing his waistcoat over one of the room's chairs. "And then we can all lie down and talk about whatever we need to talk about?"

"All right." Vedran smiled at Aleyn, pulling him closer and then stepping with him over to Ardith. "Then come help me." 

"Okay," he said nervously, glancing from Vedran to Ardith. "What do you want me to do?"

"You can try and relax, for a start," she teased. "I'm not that scary!"

"You can take the front for now," Vedran added with a smirk of his own. "The hooks are a little tricky."

"All right – just tell me what to do. I don't have any experiences with dresses this fancy…" 

"As lovely as it is, I think this dress itself is relatively simple." Vedran smiled at Ardith, thinking she seemed as nervous as he did at this point. "If I may?"

"Please," she answered, and he thought she was blushing, though the fine scales of her face made it difficult to be sure. "And it is just the hooks in back."

Vedran stepped back behind her, carefully lifting aside the blue-grey tendrils of scale that hung down her back like ropes of thick hair. Some of them had been bound with ornate wrappings of silver wire set with moonstones, and he didn't want to bend them out of shape or have them catch the delicate silk of her wedding gown. The rest of the hooks came apart easily, though he didn't rush, savouring the intimacy. Once the final one was unclasped, he gently brushed the capped sleeves down off her shoulders so that Aleyn could help her step out of the dress and set it safely aside.

Aleyn smiled, blushing bashfully as he eyed her stays, petticoat, and shift. "There's a lot more clothes under there than I expected."

"All the most uncomfortable ones, I assure you. I much prefer to wear my robes." 

"We can help with that," Vedran offered, sure he was flushing himself.

She nodded, looking from one man to the other. "I can stay in my shift, but it is fairly sheer – I  
did bring something else to change into, if that's all right?" What Vedran could see peeking above the top of her stays did seem to be fairly revealing.

Before Vedran had quite worked out how to answer, Aleyn spoke up so that he only had to nod his agreement: "Whatever makes you most comfortable." 

"All right. I hope that goes for the two of you as well," she added more shyly, "and I won't be offended if you want to turn your head once we get that far, for whatever reason."

"You're very lovely." Vedran wasn't sure why the complimentary assurance seemed important, but he hoped that it couldn't hurt to tell his wife he found her beautiful. "We'll see how things go."

"Okay." Ardith nodded her acceptance of this, and followed it up with a more confident grin. "Well, then, let's get you gentlemen out of your shirts, hmm?"

They started with the cuffs first, Ardith removing the set of matching sets of cufflinks her husbands had purchased for the wedding – silver dragons over a lapis setting. They were working on Aleyn's buttons when Vedran felt the need to step back for a moment and process. Ardith and Aleyn looked over at him, both wearing expressions of concern, but he shook his head and smiled.

"I just wanted to...watch you together?" As with their earlier kiss, the sweetness between them was very intimate and reassuring, but he wasn't sure how to say it. He thought they both blushed – Aleyn certainly did. Ardith, amused as well as self-conscious, smirked.

"Well, you're not alone in that. You two are pretty sweet yourselves."

Aleyn blushed harder, and Vedran was sure he would start babbling endearingly at any moment unless rescued. 

"Can I kiss him? You?"

"Of course..."

"Please!"

Vedran drew Aleyn closer, running his hands down his sides. Their lips parted but the kiss remained shy, aware of their audience, of the newness of their commitment. Still, he felt safer, braver, and they both turned to Ardith when they broke apart.

"I don't ever want you to feel like you're not part of this. I know sometimes it might be hard, that we're all still learning, that we've had longer, but I want an 'us', all of us, at the core. Not just me and Aleyn, or me and you, or you and Aleyn. That's all important too, but I want it to come from something bigger."

"I know." Ardith smiled again, still with a hint of wistfulness. "When I watch you together – I try to think that this is where we're all going, towards that love. You're not pushing me away, I just have some catching up to do."

Aleyn broke open their embrace, reaching out to her. "Join us?"

They closed around her, Aleyn behind and Vedran in front, both men resting their heads against her shoulder for the moment, each with his arms wrapped around her. Her perfume lingered on her skin, rose and clove anchored by a subtle musk and he drank it in, nuzzling at her neck. Ardith held him to her, her other hand twinned with the one Aleyn had pressed against her abdomen, sandwiched between her body and Vedran's. Someone flexed their hand; knuckles grazed against his stomach. The closeness was intoxicating, arousing – his cock stirred against Ardith. Surely she would feel it too, despite the remaining layers of clothes that separated them. But as he moved to draw back, she held him tighter.

"It's okay," she whispered against him, relaxing her hold when he nodded. "Would you like to kiss me?"

"Very much."

"Then please... My neck, my lips, my face, anywhere you can, kiss me."

Vedran pressed his lips against the delicate scales of her throat and felt her shiver. Once again, Aleyn held back her tendrils, slipping off the decorative wires as he did, exposing more of her neck. She tilted her head, and Vedran kissed along her jaw, sucking at the edge of her neck frill. Aleyn left the two of them briefly, letting Vedran explore this new intimacy on his own while he stashed Ardith's jewelry on the vanity. When he returned, he came to stand behind Vedran, standing close with his hands on Vedran's shoulders.

"I'm going to finish getting your shirt off, is that okay?"

Vedran nodded between kisses to which Ardith was responding more enthusiastically, pressing herself against his lips. She released her hold on him enough that Aleyn could slip his hands between them, around Vedran's waist, and fumble with his last few buttons. As soon as these were undone, Ardith pulled him back to her, cupping his ass and kissing him in return as Aleyn pulled his shirt back off his arms, leaving just his undershirt now clinging to his chest. He wasn't away long before he stood behind Vedran again, holding him close while he and Ardith kissed.

Aleyn's cock was as hard as his own, straining against his breeches and pushing up against Vedran's ass. It was difficult to keep his imagination from running wild with extrapolations from the current scenario, sandwiched between his spouses, only with fewer clothes and inhibitions. His desire was frighteningly strong so close to the people he lusted after; his fantasy vividly explicit. But habit made him wary of such strong emotion, pulling him back rather than letting him be reeled in past his level of comfort. He froze as Ardith ran her tongue along his jaw.

"I need space," he mumbled, and both partners let go, giving him room to breathe.

"Too much?" Aleyn looked a little contrite, as if he might be afraid it was his fault, so Vedran shook his head.

"Too intense. I just need a minute."

"All right..." Ardith was breathless, and definitely blushing now. The grey-blue scales of her face flushed a deep violet. She offered Aleyn her hands. "Then, how about I get Aleyn out of his shirt, and the two of you can help me with my stays."

Vedran nodded, waiting for his heart rate to slow. Watching Ardith playfully undress Aleyn was not any less arousing, but he was a little more in control when he wasn't right in the middle of it. When Ardith smirked at her other husband's prominent and clearly large erection, Aleyn blushed bright red. Vedran wanted to be with them, to feel the heat of his cheeks against his own, to slip a hand inside the straining fabric as Ardith released that strain... Aleyn glanced his way, and it was hard to believe that he wouldn't want the same thing. But it was safer to stay back, stay where he was, and not to push himself up against the confusing boundaries between what desire was acceptable and what was not.

Ardith had asked Aleyn something Vedran hadn't quite heard, distracted by his thoughts, and Aleyn nodded and smiled in response. As she pushed his shirt back off his shoulders, revealing a body that was in much better shape than most people expected, she pulled him in for a close embrace. They held each other for a while, getting accustomed to each other, as Vedran watched. This was easier to witness, even when Aleyn timidly kissed her throat, when Ardith rubbed her cheek against Aleyn's, when they let their hands explore each other carefully. Once he felt calm again, though still aroused, he stepped over to the pair.

"Petticoats and stays?" he asked.

"Off," Ardith answered, pulling back only slightly from her embrace. All the ties were facing Vedran anyway, and Aleyn helped support their wife as Vedran undid the knots, sending her petticoat fluttering to the floor. The lacings of her stays took a little longer, and Aleyn had to help her out of them, blushing again at the sheerness of her shift.

"My nightdress is in my green bag," she told him, letting go of his hand. "It should be right on top. It's purple and silky."

"I'll get it."

With Aleyn distracted, she looked back over her shoulder at Vedran, turning to him slowly. The shift, made of thin white cotton, draped over the generous curves of her body. Vedran had never seen her so close to naked. Now the superfine scales that covered her breasts were visible as were her nipples – large, dark, and erect from excitement. She had thicker scales over her abdomen, more blue than grey, like the ones on her forearms and legs. These gave way again to finer and finer ones that ran down between her legs, that would be smooth and almost soft to the touch...

Nervously, she stepped closer, reaching out, taking one of his hands in hers. The other she lifted to his cheek, brushing her thumb along it, tracing out the heart of his furious blush. Vedran let himself get lost in the relative safety of her silver eyes.

"There're a lot of complicated things going on in there, aren't there?"

He nodded, but didn't want to focus on his troubles at the moment. "You're beautiful."

"Thank you. I'm going to take your breeches off – is that okay?"

"Okay." They were both nervous, and that was somehow reassuring. She didn't draw out the process, just carefully unfastened the buttons so that they could slip off his waist. He stepped out of them quickly, pulling off his stockings as he did, hopefully managing to do so without looking too awkward. Feeling awkward, in just his drawers and his undershirt, was a completely different matter. It was worse knowing that it hadn't always been like this.

"Found it," Aleyn said as he crossed back over to them. Ardith's nightdress was draped over one arm, but he was smirking playfully at Vedran. "It's very nice."

"Isn't it?" Ardith smirked back at him. "I picked it out myself, you know."

Vedran chuckled, still nervous but a little less tense. "I just hope you don't wind up with buyer's remorse after trying it out."

"I think it will be pretty comfortable if I just give it some time." She smiled kindly. "Now, I'm going to put on my nightdress, if you want to lend Aleyn a hand?"

The dress changed hands, and Vedran stepped over to Aleyn to help him finish undressing. It was more familiar with him, at least, and Vedran let his hand brush along Aleyn's shaft casually as he unbuttoned the front flap; didn't flinch away when Aleyn pressed more deliberately against him.

"Kiss?" Aleyn asked.

"A little bit," he agreed, craving the closeness but not wanting to get carried away again. They kept it sweet, if not too short, and broke apart to draw Ardith into their circle once she was dressed, standing with their arms around each other.

"Are we ready for bed?"

Ardith had asked, but they both looked to Vedran to answer. He'd actually brought a nightshirt as well, long enough to provide a little more modesty than how he was currently dressed. But did he want it? His spouses seemed content to have him as he was, not disgusted by any of the betrayals of his body. If he needed to he could change his mind later, but hopefully that wouldn't be the case. "Ready," he answered, smiling shyly.

The bed occupied the rear wall of the room, and a mirrored skylight filtered in moonlight to bolster the illumination provided by the candelabras and the flickering of the dying fireplace fire. They'd rumpled the bedspread during his earlier nap, and Ardith took the time to smooth it before pulling it back along with the other blankets and sheets, while Vedran banked the fire.

When he turned back to the others, Aleyn was sitting on the edge of the bed, with Ardith standing beside him, her hands resting on his shoulders. Aleyn smiled. "I think you need to be in the middle."

"Will you keep me there?"

Ardith cocked her head, looking thoughtful. Aleyn, maybe remembering their conversation from the first night they'd shared together, reunited after the Thunderbolts had been away for unexpected months lost in the Elemental Chaos, nodded and answered, "Of course. We'll keep you with us, and safe."

"Okay." Vedran turned to Ardith. Hopefuly he could do better than he had so far to help her understand. For now, he smiled. "I guess... maybe that will be part of the talking. But I should warn you – Aleyn is an aggressive snuggler. We may wind up pretty close together." Assuming they managed to sleep at all – it wasn't something he was banking on. He didn't add, not yet, the part where Aleyn was the only person he'd had much experience sharing a bed with.

She raised her brow ridges, but smirked. "I'm sure, somehow, I can learn to deal with that." She patted the bed while Aleyn scrambled over to the far side. "If you're ready," she added.

His nerves were not as bad as they had been when they first came in, and everything that had happened since had gone relatively well, but he was far from relaxed. They wouldn't do anything they weren't all comfortable with, and they didn't need to worry about anyone else's expectations. The talking he'd promised, however, seemed a little more daunting now that that it was imminent. Ardith and Aleyn might not press him, but his guilty obligation was already battling with his shame. Neither was rational or helpful, but left him confused and uncertain nonetheless. The contemplation that it would be easier just to do what he was asked, to let them guide and direct him, didn't help either. No. 

_"I know that we three have many obstacles before us on this path, but I want this marriage to be a bond that frees us to trust, love and support one another completely, to give us a space where we can be honest with all our thoughts and feelings, and work together to create a family full of love. I promise to do my part on this shared journey, to be a true friend, and to love, respect, cherish and protect you both, as we all travel through life together."_

Vedran had said the words at the altar earlier that night and repeated them quietly now. That was what was true, when he worked through his thoughts. It was what he wanted, and what he meant. This was another obstacle, another call to do his part, and he would do it because he loved and trusted them. 

He crossed back over to the bed, climbing in beside Aleyn, leaving room for Ardith to join them. They curled up around him, Aleyn giving a contented sigh as he took Vedran's arm and lay his head on his shoulder. Ardith was too large for that and pulled Vedran to her instead so that the three of them lay almost stacked, then reached her hand over to add it to the pile on Vedran's stomach.

"Covers?" she asked. "I'm starting to get a little chilly. Actually, that happens all the time, you may have to get used to it, I'm afraid."

"Getting chilly?" Aleyn reached down to help her grab the blankets and distribute them as evenly as possible across the three of them. "Is that a dragonborn thing?"

"It's a girl thing." Vedran smiled. "You may not yet have learned that men are expected to act as personal heaters in bed."

Ardith chuckled. "It is also a dragonborn thing though – I'm lucky I have two of you to keep me nice and cozy."

"We'll do our best."

They made themselves comfortable again and lay there, enjoying, or at least getting used to, the closeness and the presence of each other's bodies. Vedran couldn't stop thinking about his promise to talk about things, but was afraid of letting his thoughts stray too close to those topics. Eventually, perhaps sensing his restlessness, Aleyn squeezed his hand.

"This is wonderful, isn't it? I never imagined this. I never could have imagined this. I feel so blessed."

"I feel like we're making a good start. A strong foundation." Ardith fumbled under the blankets until she could take both their hands again. "I'm happy, and hopeful. Very happy."

Once again, Vedran felt like he should add something, but it took him a few moments to work it out. "I'm hopeful too, and happy – part of me. Part of me is still terrified. And the only thing I can do is... show you. Tell you about all the things that make me afraid, or confused, or ashamed. The better things are, the more afraid I am of ruining what we've made. I don't want to have secrets, but if I tell them, then you're stuck with them too. I don't want you to feel trapped."

"I don't feel trapped, Vedran." Ardith glanced down at him, then over to Aleyn, who was nodding. "I'm more worried about feeling... locked out? I know you don't want to do that either. I did choose this – we all did. We chose to trust, even if it's hard."

"But you didn't know..."

"I knew enough. I knew you were still hurting, that you needed help and time, and that I wanted to give you both. I knew I wouldn't be the only one supporting you. I didn't know everything, but you can tell me. You can tell us."

"Okay. I just – I don't want this to be all about me, about my problems, all the time."

"I wouldn't worry too much about that,"Aleyn said. "We're going to have a whole other big mess to deal with soon enough. But you need to know that, um, it's okay, if you're not okay. It doesn't mean anything is ruined, that there's anything wrong with you. You're allowed to have problems. We all are." He paused, considering. "Would it help if we talked about some of the things we're scared of, or worried about? Then we'll all know what we can work on, to help each other feel better."

Would it help? Or just make him feel worse? If nothing else, it might be worth the risk just to put off his own sharing a little while longer. "Maybe."

"Okay, then let me go first." He looked up at Ardith. "I guess, I'm a little worried about figuring out what things are going to be like between us. Like I said, I think of you as.... someone I care for, and care about. I'm happy about all that, because I was afraid of getting shut out, not pulled in. And you're wonderful. But I'm used to those feelings coming with other impulses. But you're a woman, so, um, I'm confused, if I want to kiss you, or if I want, or don't want, something else. I'm not sure what I should feel or want. I don't know how to tell, if it's something I really want, or just something I feel I should do. And even if I want – if we both did, something more I don't really know how to, uh... handle? Er, deal with...? The physical side of things. And I know it's maybe, um, different from what we talked about before, except the part where you can't always control how you feel about people." 

By the time he was finished speaking, it was easy to tell how hard he was blushing despite the dimness of the light. Ardith felt a little tense – probably she was a little surprised – but she lifted Aleyn's hand and squeezed it.

"I guess that's something I need to think about, but maybe it's not quite so unexpected after tonight." She smiled. "I'll tell you the same thing I told Vedran – that it's between us to figure out what we feel comfortable with, and we can take as long as we need. Maybe this goes along with what I thought about saying too. It's okay, I hope, that we might all want different things from each other. That what I have with Vedran might be different, and not just physically, than what he has with you. Not the same doesn’t mean not as good, or not as special, or not as important. I know that, but I still worry, even though you've both been so good about reassuring me that you care about me and want to build something special between us. You've just been through so much together, and, well, I'll never have that, no matter what comes next."

"In time, we'll all share different things, that won't or can't be for all three of us, but you're right. That will be okay. I imagine it is something we're all going to have to work on accepting. I worry about it sometimes too – about the time you and Vedran will have to live together. But it won't be forever, and I tell myself it will be good for you both to have that time."

"It will be good," Ardith agreed, sounding a little self-conscious. "One of the things that's hard for me is... seeing how much easier it is for Vedran to be with you, intimately. And I know that it's something you've worked for, that it isn't as easy as it looks at all. I think that we need time to do that work. I know you and I will need time too but, as confusing as things might be, I hope we won't have quite as many obstacles."

"I'm sorry." Vedran let the traitorous words slip out – it had been easy to listen, and comforting to hear them talk about their own concerns but, whether it was meant to or not, it had come back around to him. Now he couldn't stay silent, though he felt the familiar tightness trying to choke off his words. Both of them were looking at him, their concern evident in the tightness of their embraces. "I'm sorry, because it's not the same. It is harder, but it isn't you, I just remember things, when I think about...wanting them, with you, and it brings up all this other mess in my head, and it's hard to – to sort things out." 

Vedran paused, shaking his head, but his husband and wife both gave him time to continue. "One of the hardest things for me to understand is that it all seems so much worse now. I think about it now, and I feel sick, so...ashamed. But then. It was different. I just went along, and it was just... just strange enough that I knew I couldn’t tell anyone. They wouldn't understand. I didn't, so how could they? But I thought it was still... okay, and it wasn't. And I started believing it – believing the things she told me. And I can't – I can't just stop."

They waited another few moments, but he didn't know where to go from there. His heart was racing having said just that much, his muscles tense. They had trapped him between them, though, and there wasn't any way to get out.

Eventually, Ardith spoke up. "What did she tell you?"

Aleyn squeezed his hand, and Vedran took a few long, deep breaths before continuing. He was safe here, safer than anywhere else, and he was loved. "She said that I was... a disgusting animal, that I couldn't...control myself. That I needed her, for that, because I was bad. Base. That I deserved... needed... everything she did. That she would take care of me."

The others were upset too, tense, faces draw into concerned frowns. But, for now, Ardith just hugged him tightly. "And…this all started on your wedding night?"

Vedran nodded, shuddering violently. He'd thought about it, talked about it enough that he knew, even if it didn't seem clear at all right now, that what had happened then had laid the groundwork for everything that happened later. He'd been just what she said he was. There was no space to curl up between Ardith and Aleyn, but he shut his eyes tightly against the memories.

"Vedran." Aleyn was trying very hard to sound calm. "You're all right. You're still here with us. You're safe, and nothing is going to happen. Can you say that? Say something?"

"Yeah." This would be the third time he'd told the story – the first to Aleyn, the second to Luthro in one of their sessions just prior to the engagement – but it wasn't any easier to get the words out. Despite everyone's reassurances, sharing hadn't yet helped him come to terms with the shame of it. "She didn't let me undress her. The maids did, before I could come in. She didn't want me to feel close to her. She wanted to keep me... out. She would never, ever talk with me. I didn't know what to do. That never happened, before. If someone wasn't interested, there would be someone else. But there wasn't. There wasn't anyone else. I thought… there would never be anyone else.

"She didn't want to wait, to give things time. I don't understand what she wanted. She said we had to …do it. Consummate." He shuddered again, inadvertently pressing himself against Ardith's claws. Their sharpness gave him something else to focus on, a momentary break. "She just… lay there. She wouldn’t look at me, or …move or… it was awful. It was sick. I felt sick, and I did it anyway. And…everything. After that. She knew... I could do that. She knew." 

He felt sick now too, his head pounding, stomach roiling, mouth dry, hot everywhere save where he lay against the coolness of Ardith's scales. They all felt tense, and part of Vedran just wanted to throw off the covers, slip out of their grip, and curl up on the floor where he belonged. But they still wouldn't let him go, and Aleyn was rubbing the back of his hand with his thumb, helping him stay fixed in the present.

"I know how hard it is for you to talk about it, Vedran, but you're doing so well, so much better. You did what she said, it doesn't mean you're… bad, that you don’t have any control. You’re a good man, and I love you, and I trust you."

"Oh, Vedran." Ardith hugged him tighter, sitting up, dragging him with her. "That's not… not what the contract is supposed to be for. No wonder you were so scared, I'm sorry. I promise it won't ever be like that again. We won't let it."

Aleyn was sitting up with them now, wrapping his arms around him, around them both. Vedran had managed to keep from breaking down before, but they seemed intent on pressing it out of him. Ardith might have been sobbing herself. Aleyn, who had been through this before, was the calmest, and his face was wet against Vedran's back.

"There's more," Ardith sniffed after a moment, "isn't there?"

"I kept going back to her, and now… I don’t know why. She would… I couldn't talk, and I had to – to act just right. She put things on, in, me, and I could only t-touch her…certain ways and..I don't want to think about it but I c-can't…let it go…."

"Shhhh…" Ardith cradled his head against her shoulder. "It's over. It's…sick. But it's over, and it's not – it was never your fault. Just let us help you."

Vedran nodded, pressing his face against her shoulder, kissing her, resting a hand on Aleyn's arm, sniffing back his tears. "I... Thank you. Because, I can't be what I want to be for you, yet, and you're both... so amazing, so good to me, anyway. I want to get better, for things to go better than tonight. But even... with this, being such a mess, I wanted... to be honest, and close, and...We've had that. So thank you."

"I know you don't always feel it, Vedran, but you are so strong. I love you – we both care for you very much. I hope Ardith doesn't mind me speaking for her, but we appreciate how hard you are trying, and your trust, showing us how bad you're hurting, it means a lot. And we will help you, however we can." 

"I love you too." Vedran let the words settle over both of them. However conflicted he was about other things, or in other moments – right now, they were true. It helped ease the knot in his stomach, in his heart, as much anything else. It left him content as well as exhausted as the three of them lay back down to try and settle into each other for the rest of their first night together.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to Nary and Framlingem for betaing, and Nary and JW for assistance with characterizations! Flaws with either remain my own.


End file.
